LONG BEFORE
By Phillip Elton Collins
Long before we were human, husband or father or friend we
were eternal brotherhood spirits within the mist of eternity. Then our consciousness
began to coagulate to once again become human.
We were and are two different spirits who were choosing to
incarnate in unity on this Earth within the mystical geo-region of southern
Georgia. We had birthed together before. This time we were selecting a vibrant
and beautiful feminine- mother energy named Joyce Roslyn and her
masculine-energy mate Robert Eldridge, as father.
We knew we belonged to each other as unified diversified
expressions of being human. One the physical expression, the other the mental.
He would climb the kitchen cabinets for the cookies and I would explain
language. Together we could and would complete a whole, while separate we would
always be somewhat incomplete. Thus, the reason for the choice we made to be
born at the same time.
On the outside we appeared very different: one the
expression of our native American heritage, the other reflecting the European
Irish. But within, the energetic inside things were vastly different. We were
eternally united
As we grew, we were taught to be fearful of our needed unity
and sought ways to separate. Prevailing culture and mores of the time said it
was unhealthy to be so close. Then we began to activate all the ways we could
be different, knowing inside we were diversified expressions of one another.
Because of our unconditional, eternal love we fully accepted
each other’s developed differences and celebrated them in one another, being
secure in who we each were.
To fully express our diversity, we physically went our
separate ways. I out into the world and he staying closer to the portal of our
home and parents. Twin brother, William Ogden needed the bonds and boundaries
of our earthly home and I, Phillip Elton needed to break free, to be me. But in
our hearts, we knew we were never separated. For you cannot separate spirit.
We went on to fully express the myriad of ways in being
human, being a human being. He became husband and father in a more traditional
way and I chose ‘two-spirited’ expressions of love. But love is love no matter how
we choose to express it. In the end, the differences of expressing love only
matter in matter, not spirit.
About twenty minutes
before I received a phone call from Mom saying my soul-mate had been killed in
an accident in the bayous of Louisiana, I woke up and realized my twin
brother’s soul had escaped this early plane. Then the phone rang verifying what
I already knew. Mother had sent older brother Bob to identify the body. She
just could not do it.
The nation was celebrating a special fourth of July. New
York City (where I lived) harbor was filled with tall ships, the country was
alive with joy. While my heart, my parents, his wife and two young children
were consumed with a reality to hard to fathom.
Had this man who was truly larger than life actually left this life?
When I arrived home at Tampa Bay, my usually youthful mother
appeared old and bewildered Dad was in shock since he and twin brother were
together on a business trip when ‘the accident’ happened. Words only go in the
way. There were only raw emotions.
Upstairs in Mom and Dad’s bedroom in Culbreath Bayou Tampa,
we gathered as a fragmented family and explained to brother’s young son and
younger daughter their Dad had died. My father was the same age as brother’s
son when he lost his Dad. The similarity was stinging.
We all attempted to rest that night knowing the future
activities would be challenging, at best. I awoke early the next morning and
went into Mom and Dad’s bedroom. Dad was downstairs making breakfast and Mom
was glowing sitting by her dressing table. Her and youth and beauty had
returned. I knew something magical had transpired. “Bill came to be last night
as clear as you are here and told me he was ok and for all of us to care for
one another,” she smiled. This would be the first of three ‘visits’ from
brother Bill reassuring us he was where he needed to be and to care for one
another. The other two ‘visits’ were in New York City, one in private and the
final third while I was lunching behind St. Patrick’s Cathedral with client who
witnessed the event.
Reassured by her son’s spiritual visit, Mom wore a bright
yellow suit to the service. We as a family went through the mechanics of an
American funeral. Mom, Dad and I did not wish to see brother lifeless. But my
partner at the time, Tony sat with brother’s wife Babs at the funeral home for
all the time she needed. He was the
first in our high school class to die so young. I lost count of the hundreds of
cars in the funeral procession or the volumes of flowers upon the grave.
In the truck of Mom’s car my older brother had put the
clothes and glasses and personal effects my twin wore during his accident. I
held these and for the first time cried. Years later I would give the glasses
and accident report to twin brother’s children.
Leaving to return to my life and career in New York City was
even more difficult than the first time I left home. Words only got in the way.
My first week at home I developed what appeared to be an
acute flu. It felt like the life force was withdrawing from my body. My
temperate hit 103 degrees as I laid lifeless in bed wondering if I was to join
my twin. I refused medical help. I was ready to leave and rejoin the eternal
journey with my twin. Then I passed out.
While on “the other side” I saw a vision of what my life was
to become (www.phillipeltoncollins.com) and that it was not my time to leave
this world for another. Twin brother reassured me he was alright and pushed me
back into this reality. I knew we would reunite later…
I woke up and the fever had broken, weak as a new born, I
began to nourish myself and resume my soul plan, my purpose in being here…
Long before he was husband, father and friend he was (is) my
eternal twin brother and forever will be.
