by Jeff Fasano
Good or Bad? Positive or Negative?
These are Just Labels
Many of us categorize feelings as either good or bad, positive or negative. Through all the personal work I have done and what I have learned, studied and channeled, I have been enlightened to the fact that there are no good or bad, positive or negative feelings.
These are just labels conditioned in us by mom and dad through what they learned and were conditioned with as children. These labels perpetuate duality within us.
I am amazed that many when asked, “How does that make you feel?’ or “What are you feeling?” have a challenge in accessing their feelings. Perhaps they simply don’t know how to or have never done it. Or are frightened to. Many begin to describe an action saying, “ I feel like I should not be in my mind I should be in my heart.” Is this something you do? Do you feel your feelings or do you describe them?
Feelings are just feelings. I still remember when I was a little boy and I would begin to cry. My mother, bless her heart would say to me in a somewhat scolding tone, “Shush stop crying.” Have you had a similar experience? Were your feelings stifled? Almost grinding to halt? By my mother doing that it immediately stopped the flow of my feelings and stifled my expression in that moment. This put a label those feelings as bad and led me to suppress them. What you are feeling in each and very moment is your truth in that moment.
A child simply feels and allows the feelings to flow. It is through conditioning that feelings are labeled as the child grows. Mom and Dad have had their feelings labeled for them, thus when the wounded child hears that a feeling is good or bad they then equate that to thinking they are either a good or bad person. This how labeled feelings affect us.
You can break this chain and this conditioned belief that feelings are either good or bad, positive or negative. Simply allow all of your feelings. Be aware when feelings arise that you don’t like, that aren’t comfortable. Even the feelings of joy and happiness for many have been conditioned to repress them as well. What happens? Do you suppress your feelings? Do you hear mom or dad telling you they are bad? Or “You may feel wonderful now, but wait the other show will drop.”
Connect with that inner child who is feeling those feelings and ask them what they need. That child needs to be nurtured through the feelings to know that it is OK to feel what they are feeling. We need to be nurtured to feel.
By accepting with compassion these feelings they will move. Our feelings are all happening simultaneously, one after another. Simply notice an infant crying, laughing, smiling all in an instant. It is through acceptance and compassion as to where we are on our path we can integrate all the feelings we have suppressed and repressed and know that we now have the freedom to simply feel all of them without a label.