Sunday, March 23, 2014



By Jeff Fasano, Channel, Photographer and Author 

There is a difference in knowing who you are through your ego and knowing who you are through self-love. Knowing yourself through the ego (the old way) was about separating yourself from others. If you say, “I know who I am—and I am better than you!” This is a form of superiority and it creates separation. It is not equality. It creates a need for validation and gratification from outside of yourself.

Loving yourself as you are (the new way), on the other hand, allows you to stand unmasked—with your energy contained. Knowing and loving yourself allows you to walk on the path into the unknown just as you are without creating isolation.

Having boundaries leads to balanced giving and receiving in relationships. It means you can say, “I love me and, therefore, I can love you. In turn, our relationship has balance and equality; it empowers me to speak my truth to you when I have a need to set a limit or take care of myself, and it empowers you to say the same to me.”

Boundaries are part of the foundation of community, harmony, and equality. They lead to clear agreements and to having your needs met.

Define your boundaries. What are yours? Make a list. Then, ask:

“Am I setting boundaries or am I building walls to isolate and separate myself?”

“As I set my boundaries, am I listening to others who set theirs?”

“Am I honoring others’ boundaries and my own?”

“Can I listen to others when they set boundaries?”

Look at what you have accomplished and created for yourself. 

Look at your life as being full. Is there joy in it? Are you walking on your path into the unknown feeling joyful about what you are creating—not so much joyful about what you are creating in the world (which relates to seeking validation and gratification), but joyful about who you are creating within yourself? If you have committed to know and love yourself on a deeper level, you have committed to individuate and take responsibility for yourself. Setting boundaries is another step in taking responsibility—of responding to your needs.