Monday, March 24, 2014


by Jeff Fasano, Author, Channel & Photographer

 Open Another Doorway

You are now ready to take a series of gradual steps towards intimacy. You are beginning to trust—first yourself, and then others—as you break free from the cocoon of a life where you have held yourself in lack, limitation, separation, and isolation. Even as you say, “I want a much larger life than I have now,” your next step is inward rather than outward. It is now time to open a doorway inside and receive love.

The intention for everyone who moves onto the pathway towards the unknown is to receive love—each of you says this is what you want. Look now to grow towards it, to embrace love from where you are. To achieve a community of harmony, acceptance, and compassion in the world, it is important to move within and begin to love you. With acceptance and compassion, you can be where you are in every moment and feel exactly what you are feeling, knowing that just being you is more than sufficient; it is essential.

When you hit a sticking point, such as a moment where you experience feelings you don’t want to feel, or aspects of self that you don’t want to accept or acknowledge, you habitually use something to avoid feeling. What is your modus operandi for avoiding places in yourself that don’t quite resonate for you anymore? What “old trick” do you use to avoid your feelings, to avoid being where you are? Do you put up a mask when you feel that who you are and what you are feeling in a given moment is not lovable? Do you use this mask in an attempt to be what someone else wants so you will be loved?

We speak to you about beginning to open your heart to receive love. You ask us, “How can I receive love? Am I good enough or worthy enough to receive love? Am I perfect enough to receive love?” This process is about moving to new depths of intimacy within, so that you can begin to receive love from yourself. It is most important to move through this process with tenderness because you could feel exposed and vulnerable.

Stand in front of a full-length mirror. We suggest that you do this process naked and learn to accept yourself where you are in the moment as you do. Of course, if you are not comfortable doing this exercise entirely nude, you may do it partially clothed.

Approach this exercise with an attitude of gentle curiosity. Every time you do it you open another doorway leading you gradually from your head to your heart. Take out a paper and pen so you may record your responses and discoveries.

Begin with your eyes closed. Breathe deeply into the depth and breadth of your body three times—in through your nose and out through your mouth.

After the third breath, inhale deeply a fourth time and retain the air for five seconds. Then release your breath on the sound, Ahhh.” Allow the sound to reverberate through your entire body and through the room in which you are standing. Fully release and let go and allow the sound to move where it will move. Repeat twice more.

When the reverberations of sound have ceased, open your eyes and look directly into the mirror. As you look directly into the reflection of your eyes, breathe three times, inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth with the sound, Ahhh.”

Do not take your eyes off of yourself as you breathe. Feel the emotions that surface, and allow them to be present. Simply observe and take notice of what you do here.

Do you avert your gaze to avoid looking at yourself? Is there shame?

Do your thoughts become active? Are you judging and condemning yourself?

Do you suddenly think of an “urgent task” to do and walk away?

The idea here is to focus upon your eyes, and maintain an intimate connection with yourself. With your eyes still open and looking at you, after the third breath, if you are ready, write down what you are feeling in the moment. Move your focus into your heart, and then spontaneously write down the five most important feelings that surfaced.

After you have recorded your insights, return to the mirror and stand in front of it. If you are still wearing clothes, now is the moment to disrobe.

Close your eyes and breathe three times in a row, as you previously did. After the third breath is entirely released from your body, open your eyes and look directly into your eyes in the mirror again. Hold your own gaze for five to ten seconds.

Then, allow your eyes to travel and scan your body. Notice, where your eyes go first. Look at yourself. What do you see? What do you feel? What do you judge and shame? What do you enjoy?

Keep on breathing deeply. Remain in front of the mirror and scanning your body for several minutes. What might occur could be quite shocking to you. You might feel embarrassed. Or, rather than criticism, you might find you enjoy yourself immeasurably. 

Most importantly, you will begin to find out how you feel about your physical body.

When you are ready, sit down and answer the following questions:

“What am I feeling?”

“Am I shaming and judging? If so, what?”

“Can I accept with compassion where I am in this moment?”

“Can I accept what I am feeling in this moment?”

“Can I have compassion for myself?”

Now, move away from the mirror. Seat yourself somewhere comfortable and breathe once, deeply, and inwards through your nose. Hold the air for five seconds, and then release your breath through your mouth on the sound, “Ahhh.”

After this, close your eyes and move into the depth of your heart space. Imagine your wounded inner child. When he or she comes to you look into the little child’s eyes and remain focused on them. 

Look at them as he or she looks at you.

Feelings will surface here. Just be with them and allow yourself to feel what you are feeling in this moment. Then ask your inner child, “What do you need in this moment?”

After the child answers, ask yourself, “Can I give this child what he (or she) needs in this moment?” And, “Do I love this child enough to give the child what is needed in this moment?” Open your eyes and write down what was asked for, and your response.